Welcome to the Victim Support section.

[wayne]

Welcome to a new section of the forum, where you can ask questions and hopefully receive the help, or at least advice you need to move on after dealing with your scammer. This section will be looked after, but not moderated by Pinky. Please do not post any scammer information here, but continue to post them in the relevent sections of the forum.

[Pinky]

Thank you Wayne, for doing this. I don't know if there will be interest or not, but I have noticed many people posting are bewildered about their romantic interest that they've found on this site. And this site is working beautifully. We know that many victims and would be victims have found their scammers posted here. The work that's being done to maintain this massive database of these vermin is nothing short of phenomenal.

I have been involved in romance scam baiting and warning potential victims for a couple of years now. I have found many women being victimized on Myspace.com. Other baiters, as they've become aware people are being victimized, have asked me to warn them as well.

Let me be very clear by saying that outside of college psych classes and my experiences in working with victims thus far, I have NO background in mental health or therapy. I cannot counsel anyone, nor would I want to. That being said, I can add that I've noticed some similarities that romance scam victims share and the steps they all make to heal, and with that I've offered to help here with victim support.

Please feel free to post your story of your experience here without worrying if you have all the correct information or details, or worrying if you're posting in the proper format. I will be happy to lend you advice based on my own experiences. I am certain there are others here who will also join in so that together we may support you in your healing process.

~Pinky

[Ralph Warner]

Great idea, I am active on another victim support site that deals with a variety of scams, I have communicated with many victims and near victims of scammers so I can offer similiar insight and advice if needed.

I will make no guarantee as to how much time I can spend here but there are many people who know how to get ahold of me if required, please feel free to do so if the need arises.

I will add that as one of those who has enlisted the help of Pinky to contact a victim for me in the past, she will be great doing this.

[Titania]

This is a great section, Wayne, and I can think of no one better than Pinky to spearhead it.

I am a novice at scam warning and victim support, but whatever help I can give, I am willing.

[JI413331]

I too think this is a great idea. I am one of those victims and am searching for a way to deal with this. I am expecting it is just an emotional recovery as I doubt there is any way to get the money I lost back. Any help would be appreciated.

[Rottie81]

You can also add me with a great big for this idea! I think it will be a great help for so many!

[Ralph Warner]

Hi JI

Trying to get your money back is a sure way to prolong your pain and another oportunity for scammers to steal from you.

I have not heard of anybody having their money returned but I have heard of many who have lost more money in recovery scams.

The emotional pain will ease in time, reading about others and finding you are not alone may help, some find that revenge gives them comfort as well, whatever works for you I hope it works sooner rather than later.

[Pinky]

Welcome JI and Rottie.

I hope you don't mind but I resurrected an old post to reiterate this; there's a process for grieving and healing. Everyone has their own style and pace. There are many different manners of dealing with loss. However, there are some typical stages very similar to the natural stages of grief.

Borrowing from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' book, "On Death and Dying", she identified five stages that patients experience when informed of a terminal prognosis.

* Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
* Anger (why is this happening to me?)
* Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
* Depression (I don't care anymore)
* Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

I have found these to be consistent with most victims of scams as well. I would even add a final stage to the process after Acceptance and that would be Forgiveness.

[Cavalia]

I just outed my scammer last night. He is targeting Arizona ladies. I am going to upload his photos as I think he is new to your site. Hopefully we took one more down. Thank you for having this site. It is a Godsend.

[duckhunter]

Add me to the shoulders to lean on....I know how tough it can be for a while -- and as Pinky says, we almost cannot escape going through the gamut of emotions in order to detach completely from the scam. Talking about it with understanding people is one of the best ways to move on.

Kudos Wayne and Pinky.

[kindhearted]

Thank you for this site. It has help me so much. I think I am in the denial phase. I feel so stupid. I lost $150,000+ to this stranger. I thought I would be getting it back right away and that we were a team...I thought we were going to get married. The hard part of all of this is that I feel he stole and I gave what was for my children. Now there lives are going to be deeply effected in the long run. I am trying to understand that everything happens for a reason, but I makes me so sad that there are people in the world that will take advantage of others. I sound so naive, I just never thought this could happen to me.

[Pinky]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It's a tragedy that will take time to even comprehend. It may sound trite but money is never more important than integrity. You are still rich because you have that.

Have you reported this? Please do so if you haven't already. We need his details here and for such a large amount you should be able to get media and hopefully government attention. Someday they'll wake up and get a grasp of the scope of this problem. Maybe you could be the catalyst for change.

[zetaarnold]

Welcome kindhearted:
Sorry for your loss. We understand how do you feel. It is a hard process and takes time. Be kind with yourself and be sure that you can count with us to supporting you.

[kindhearted]

Thank you Pinky & Zetaarnold~
I have posted a forum named "Paul Roberts". It has some IP numbers and other information on the thread. I reported this crime to the IC3, Dubai Police, Prime Minister of UAE, Western Union. I tried to make a report with local police, and San Diego FBI, but they would not take the report. I still need to contact my bank because I wired money to a China bank account and have the account number etc...I do want to contact our news stations since I recently went back on Match.com and found a similar profile with a different picture and name...but similar profile to "Paul Roberts". I reported it to Match.com and saw it was removed. It makes me mad that they don't have a warning on the front page of their website...but why would they...they might scare away customers! I am still numb and trying to heal...I am so humiliated that it is hard to imagine sharing this story with the news, but as I get stronger I think I will be able to. I was hoping to direct them to your website as well. If I had only know what I needed to google I don't think I would be in this position. I initially googled his yahoo account, his name, his business name...nothing ever came up on google...good or bad. So I kept thinking the best. Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place, but that is where I am at the moment.
Thank you for your support...I really need it!

[cwalker]

hi all can some one tell me how to get a ip address and who should a report him to