Welcome to the Victim Support section.

[Arabian Nights]

hi star
yes sometimes the response may seem long but eventually some one does respond to you
when posting you may have been timed out, so I find it useful to copy my post before "submit" ing, hope this helps
I am sorry to say all the work you placed in your earlier post may have been lost

Also do not post your personal details and emails on this site, to help to keep you safe

Mods personal details please need deleteing
thanks
Done by Pinky - Ralph

[Pinky]

Welcome Starlite. I edited out your email address because spammers, scammers and adbots harvest them and you'll be inundated with trash before you know it.

As for the site not being user friendly, it is what it is, sorry to say. However we are very friendly people who work and post here, so the PM function can be your best friend. If you will look on the right side top of every post you see, under the user name there is some additional information like their post count, they're location and a few other things. Below that you should see a tiny little icon that says PM. If you click on that, it will bring up a box where you can type your message and it will even quote the particular message that you have questions about.

When you finish typing out your message, you click on the submit button on the bottom of the page and then you should see how your message is going to look to the recipient. Then you are free to navigate wherever you want to go. Do not be disturbed if you see the message in your outbox for awhile. It just means that whoever you messaged has not picked it up and read it yet. They will when they can.

Best of luck to you. We're here to help.

Edit to add: If you take a long time to finish a post or message, when you hit submit, you will often be timed out. Your message isn't lost. Just use your browser back arrow, go back and hit submit a second time. That works for me.

[Pinky]

OK, I'm making another post here rather than edit above so that this gets noticed.

People way smarter than me here have informed me that there is a 5 post count minimum for new members before their PM functionality becomes activated. Logic dictates that the administrators have set this standard to cut down on the number of spammers and scammers who used to PM mods and members while not being participating members themselves. At least that makes sense to me.

Behind the scenes, I can tell you we mods all agonize and lament over the number of victims who make one post exposing their scammer and then come right back with regrets after the scammer has sucked them back in, asking us, "Please delete my post." Honestly, we hate that more than anything.

[FrumpyBB]

I call them "shadow parkers". Am I allowed to say this in the open?

[wayne]

Yep, you're allowed to say that. Ok, as for the 5 postcount minimum before you can PM, my email address can be found in the contact page of the main site. We have to be so careful of scammers and spammers, which is why these rules were brought in.

[defman]

I have a hard time figuring out some words to write. At least I got started somewhere.

I am defman (means I'm really deaf, and pissed off, and angry, and sad, and everything.)

I started online dating my signing up at dating sites about three months ago. Before that I flirts with it now and then deleting them after a few hours to a few days. I didn't like to do it, but I wanted love, like anyone else.

What I got was strange.

I met "Mary from Melbourne." Romance lasts one week. Very intense. Claims she owns her own business. Parents dead "seven years ago in car crash accident." She goes to London, UK, buy paintings, jewellery, scultpures, import them to Melbourne for her "business" she inherits from her father. Her father from Bahamas. Mother from South Carolina, USA. She got robbed. Her hotel room was burglarised, her stuff stolen, money gone. I wondered, why asks me for help? I can't do a damn thing. I tell her ask hotel for help, ask cops for help, that's what they're there for. She never writes. Wouldnt' understand my logical reasoning. I'm in Perth, W.A., Australia and she's there. I can't send a damn thing. What she think I am? A fool. Lost my first love, as I thought. May not be real, might be scam. Who knows.

I met "Victoria (from Accra, Ghana (Nursing Student); Linda from Denver, Colorado; Linda from Atlanta, Georgia/Madrid, Spain (Artist) (from last online Yahoo IM chat two days ago). Romance lasts three months, off and on. Very intense. Found out last two days that the images "she" uses are of the porn star, shock and horror, Megan QT, whom I fell in love... geez. So embarrasing...

I met "Katty from North Perth, W.A., Aust./E. Vic. Park, W.A., Aust./ and last post was West Africa, Ibadan, Nigeria, (she cliams to travel around getting Nok art objects from "auctions" that she mentions as baza (bazaars), markets stalls. Our romance lasts six weeks. Totally intense. Three weeks chatting every night. Then out of the blue she got wind of some auction in "wafrica" that she wanted to go, as it was important to her and it's her passion. Three weeks on, day by day of stress and worrying her "safety" I find that she became strange. She was stranded in Lago, then Ibadana, Nigeria. I could not help her. So I sent her what I can. I sent $235 (not inlcluding the WU fees). Said to send it to some weird name, with the superfluous address supplied, some kind of University. Looks like a man name, shec claims it's a guide she hires to guide her around the markets, etc. She picks them up later on. Later on she says she don't have enough money saying she spent too much in anctipcation that she'll send money to me through her checking account, which I'll send to her through WU. I gave her my bank account, but it didn't work, she could not send through to me. I asks for two weeks. She says she's stranded and needed me to get a loan from my bank, or sell my ratty car (worth less than $500 with parts falling apart)... I say no can do. She keeps forgetting I'm pensioner, not rich. Day by day I get more confused. What's wrong with her? (I know, you're all chorusing "Scam, scam, scam!") So I asks one thing I never do, asks my government's emergency department of foriegn affairs to help her get home, supplied them with her details as much as I can get, and they checked her out. No such person existed. They said it's a scam. I was shocked. I didn't want to believe. I wanted to believe that our love was strong and that we'll meet together.. Pisses me off that it was all a fake. Gradually I became aware that things are not what they seemed. Unable to find out if her image is scam or not. I started researching scams, and why they do it and so on. Damned Psychopaths. I'm sick of them. Last week no answer from her. I gave up. Told her to show up or I'll move on. I got fed up. Now and then I'd IM her and begs for her forgiveness, anything, just to get some word. No such luck. I still feel like I'm grieving for lost love. I do not know if she really exists. I use the scamdigger to see if her only pic ever matches up anywhere. Nothing. I feel sure she's for real, but I can't shake it. I remember she'll tell me everything after she gets back. But she never did. If she gets back, she'll never tell me. She's stupid. She knows I loves her, but won't tell me a thing. I give up now. I force myself to move on. Getting easier week by week, even when memory of pain still there. (sighs)...

I suffered severe shock, similar to what I went through splitting from ex-girlfriend in real life six years ago... that lasts 3 months. Mary's shock lasts me a week. Victoria's shock hardly hurts, I felt sure she was messing with my head with her hardly talking much. Katty, however, was so intense I suffered periodic depression and despair, and attempts to broke up with her about four or five times... within two to three days she would get back to me and tells me she loves me and so on... I would spring back to life, feeling my heart freeze slowly melts back into life...

I met "Shannon", from Norwood, South Australia, Aust./ New York, Manhattan, USA/ Now supposedly in Oxford City, UK for fashion seminar. We chats on IM and her writing styles are different, more like the Nigerian scam style of writing. I deleted her email from my IM yesterday. She sent emails asking me 40 questions about building relationship. She wants us to pay half for her plane ticket so she can come here and we'd meet face to face. When we initially "met" on IM, she wanted me to prove that I existed, so I showed her my info and that she can check me anywhere. I asks for hers, not much. More report on this later. I come to the conclusion that she is not what she seems to be. I found mention that you can google emails on google.com and I did hers. Found her on a scam list,

There's others, of lesser and lesser frequency... I figure out what their writing style is, plus what they say about certain things, redflags that was written up here, and I spot them, first they was in western country, then they go to africa because of romance, affairs, etc then they get parents deaths blah blah blah... usual bullshit stories. When I see all these redflags I simply chats with them for a bit, then when they go offline, thinking they hooked me, I delete them off my IM. So far, Shannon has not figured out that my modem's working and that I am not going to chat to her or email her my answers to her 40 questions about me and my life. She was so real... Jeez. Pisses me off.

About three days ago I met "Linda who was from Denver, Colorado, USA, image is Megan QT, says she's from Atlanta, Georgia, USA, is now in Madrid, Spain, working as artist, lost CD or disc full of her image, (burglary), and that her images pops up on profiles with different names, on Metrodate.com, and new site I found, elmaz.co.uk, I downloaded all profiles... including old emails I found in contact with "Victoria/Linda"... I'm trying to figure out how to put all this up on somewhere... Advice would be appreciated.

Meanwhile I grow from learning from the suffering and grief of lost love that are not real, but real in my heart, emotions, but not real to these psychopaths scumbags. I figured they do the things they do because they have a big black hole in their hearts, which they thought they can fill by getting money from people, but they forgets that by ignoring their hearts they're feeding the black hole of hunger that they don't know they have, so they're like flies, constantly hungry and buzzing and acting like parasites. Energy sinkhole. Blackhole. Vampires. Parasites. Leeches. The usual predatory types who stopped growing and learning from their own mistakes. I pity them. But I won't sympathise with them. I have loved and I own my love, love is ours. They do not own their love. They own their own negativity. Poor dumb beasts.

Possible Scammers:

Linda from UK; strange girl. Might not be scammer, not sure.

Tamara B****, full details found out last night/this morning... definite signs of writing style, etc consistent with scammers typical methods... says here: "I am Tamara B****. My birth was last month 21. I was 36 years old, I am from Otely North Yorkshire England..But presently in South Africa taking care of my late parent charity home here but willing to relocate as soon as i find the right man for me." After chats, feels strange, that strange feeling... feels like scam, like she's grooming me, like guiding me to do what she wants... I resisted, talk about being scammed before, then she gets upset and thinks I'm accusing her of being one... geez. I writes she took things out of context and jumps to erroneous conclusions, and I say I know what I want and I don't care what she thinks me, I know I am honest and real and etc. then her last message to me, "We'll talk more about it. JUST BEEN mad when you said all this things"

Here, I made mistake, to tell her about scam watch sites... including this one... my mistake. I hope she is for real... not scammer. If she is one, I apologises here. I found out from other page, never tell these scammers about this site. I think to myself, "Oh sheet!" I shake my heads, damn. Now I'll wait for my punishment. My first mistake. Sorry. I apologises. First lesson learned. Best to delete contact with them, uploads all info of them here, and never try to argue with these psychopaths. Oh well. Tell me if I can stay, or be kicked off. Ok. No worries.

I still seeks love, with real honest high quality woman. Somewhere, love conquers all. I believe it. It cannot be otherwise. Somewhere my soulmate exists. It's all my hope.

Thanks for your posts, I read them and I weep over how we've been hurt, but smile when I know we all come out stronger and smarter and wiser... richer for the experiences. That which doesn't kill us, make us stronger, by Crom!

Thankyou all.
defman

[Pinky]

Hi Defman! Welcome. And no you're not going to be kicked out for innocently telling a scammer about this site. Most of them know anyway. You might have even saved yourself from another scammer by letting 'her' know you know the score about scams.

I know it's frustrating, the vast numbers of scammers out there on the net. I've been single since 1995 and on the dating sites for a long time. More than half of the contacts I get are scammers. Some sites it's only scammers. But I've been at this for so long now, I'm virtually scam proof. Maybe it's a little easier for me as a female than for a guy. When I get a contact from a hunky lookin stud muffin, I immediately smell a rat. Sure some of the male scammers are using pics of ordinary looking guys, but those I use the IP checks and then questions about their locale, history, childhood, etc., to eliminate scam possibilities. The last test, the web cam, is the clincher. They have to match their photo, on the web cam.

I'm not sure it would help your broken heart to heal any faster or not, but I think you ought to know that it's more likely than not, those hot babes you were romantic, chatting and emailing with, with were very likely guys. It's creepy, lying scumbag young men who steal pictures of porn stars and other sexy women to scam other guys. Sadly, guys know what guys want and go for.

If you're going to keep looking for love on the net, I really think you should invest in a web cam and insist your love interest be willing to cam with you and either do some action you specify or write your name on a piece of paper to prove she's real. But even if a real one should ask you for money . . . just say no.

[FrumpyBB]

Thanks for writing down your experiences, and welcome here

^^I believe this is what most of our members go through/have gone through but 99% do not write it down, especially males For a forum that relies on written experiences, tipps and help it is important to have personal (even if anonymized) accounts like this, because in my humble opinion this gives people help realizing they are not alone out there, they are not the only ever single person in the world ever who has just WU´ed money to a fake loved one (only realizing it afterwards) or wasted months to what later turns out as a "standard" African internet scammer.
It´s all just an evil crime: lies and deceit just for money, on an industrial basis with dozens of fake profiles.
It´s not really an organized crime since I believe most work just on their own (different with other advance fee fraud scams where someone in the gang must have set up a fake bank site) but somehow I believe every one with university/college/highschool education "down there", at one time or another, opens a "barrister83679846", "rose4u2010" etc etc account and just starts going, and why? To get cool stuff that all the "big men" around have, phones, watches, laptops, cars, jewelry <= judged from the "gifts" they usually request, if it´s not outright money.
It´s at least a few hundred thousand doing this, likely more. And if it´s not romance scams it´s ebay scams, refugee girl scams, job scams, room for rent scams etc etc. I know we just specialize in romance scams but often one scammer does other "jobs", too (this refers only to African scammers and very rarely to Vlads).
Just want to say, you are not alone out there. And for anyone who believes "Oh I could never fall for that!" : You could potentially fall, at one point of your live, for any other of those scams. For example, if you receive an email thinking it is someone genuine who collects donations for Haiti earthquake victims, payment method preferred WU - just another scam. Not for Haiti. Rather for some new phones, laptops etc for some spoiled rotten Nigerian twen scamboi (or expat Nigerian "studying" abroad).
^^It just never ends.
I hope many people recognize themselves in what you have written about your own experiences. I understand that when it hits someone personally it has a very devastating effect (since it´s not "just" money lost but much more, things like trust, for a while at least). If you manage soon to view upon all this from a perspective of seeing it as past experiences and if you read it from countless others then, very similar stories, no matter who they are or where they come from, you wil hopefully find at least some kind of consolation in the fact that now you are one armed with more knowledge than before. It gives one a certain degree of pleasure to know that now one can contribute to help others who ask is this a scam and why, and effectively help towards cutting down the scammers´ profits. I wish you all the best of luck for from now on!

[defman]

Thanks, Pinky and Frumpy, I sure appreciates it. Right now I'm a bit frightened, this Tamara is now IM me... I'm wondering what to do...

I also forgot to mention that I heard other deafs right here was getting scammed, and one in particular is still sending money to Africa... sheesh... my friend is trying to wise him up, but it's tough when you're blinded by love. (sighs)...

I'll attempt to endeavour to be neutral with Tamara on the IM.

This is weird.

Here:
Tamara B**** (Yahoo.com) (7/10/2010 2:17:47 PM): Good morning How are you doing
defman (7/10/2010 2:29:13 PM): Afternoon, I'm fine. How are you?
Tamara B**** (Yahoo.com) (7/10/2010 2:29:20 PM): am fine
Tamara B**** (Yahoo.com) (7/10/2010 2:29:49 PM): but at work now
Tamara B**** (Yahoo.com) (7/10/2010 2:29:53 PM): I am busy working..
Tamara B**** (Yahoo.com) (7/10/2010 2:30:08 PM): It not comfortaible for me to be here all the time
Tamara B**** (Yahoo.com) (7/10/2010 2:30:22 PM): here is here my e-mail address tamara_b**** (at) yahoo (dot) com
Tamara B**** (Yahoo.com) (7/10/2010 2:30:31 PM): write me and we see how it goes from there
Tamara B**** (Yahoo.com) has signed out. (7/10/2010 2:30 PM)

Ok, I will email her, and try to get the headers so I can determine if she's on the level... I'm still waiting for scamdigger to be up and running so I can check her image that I screencaptured off the IM....

This is really hard, I want to get out in the sunshine and go for a nice long walk, breathing fresh air, haven't been out since yesterday...

Thanks, no worries now, I feel a bit better.

[Pinky]

Next time you get her on web cam ask her to hold her hands in front and show 6 fingers, or anything you think of spontaneously so you know it's not something like a still shot or something they could have pre-recorded.

I remember from my early days of baiting that the scammers loved to haunt the web sites for the deaf and handicapped. They don't have to worry about their horrific African accents giving them away in phone conversations or worry too much about their targets being baiters. They expect to find more desperate and lonely people on those sites. I do hope you are reporting these fake profiles to the deaf site's admin.

[defman]

*EDIT* No need to quote the text just above. It just takes up space.

Thanks, Pinky. This is great news to me, sad but great.

I'll do that, get them to do spontaneous things... (six fingers?!, that's be great to see!) As for the deaf being their favourite target... now I get why I've been getting so many "ladies" contacting me seemingly within hours... it's so simple I didn't realise. Hindsight's great, I can see how I set myself up with my username... using the dis-ability as a badge of honour for me would be like drawing "them" like flies to honey pot. Now I'll rethink my username and use a neutral name, something that would be more of a hearing type than a deaf type... bit hard for me, but I'll use some action name, like names from the action movies, that would be ok...

One thing about Africans, they have a hard time preventing themselves from saying, "am new here." kind of thing. Man, I always asks how they are and they'd slip up saying that word. Like Shannon did, like Tamara did recently, this morning... God... this is real fun. Thanks, much appreciates the tip, Pinky.

[Pinky]

I hate to burst your bubble of enthusiasm, but your user name could be DEATH_to_SCAMMERS and they'd still haunt you. Most of them don't read the profiles. They're like little automated bots. They spam out their contacts to new members and generally only differentiate between male and female so they know what pictures to send.

There are a lot of little grammatical errors that are common and specific to the Africans. "Am James by name," or "Am 45 years old," is the easiest to spot. Another one is the failure to capitalize i. They call their child a kid, which in western culture is slightly disrespectful. You can call other people's children kids, especially if they're unruly, but mostly we call our children, my son, my daughter or my child(ren), and sometimes in plural we refer to them as the kids, but never 'the kid' like, "i have a kid i love him so." They tend to over and improperly use the ellipses . . . They use them for punctuation in separating sentences....like this. They ALSO LIKE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPITALS and their spelling is atrocious. This is just to name a few.

I used to be a high school English teacher. I think African English teachers should be publicly flogged.

[dienstag]

Hello defman,

I cannot find words to tell you how angry I am that this criminals are so unscrupulous, they should rotten in hell!!!

After some days you had posted about your sorrow, I hope, you feel a little bit better now.
Like you wrote, go out to the sun and fresh air, enjoy the warm climate of your country and go to your favorite places. Nature will help us to forget. Not in one day, but every day a little more.
Have you read the postings from Crescentmoon? I was really pleased to read about her happy life now. Maybe one day you are happy like her.

Believe in love, you are young enough to do...
Best wishes to you, from Austria to Australia

[mejo138]

Hi everyone; I am new to this and I am not sure what to do. I did do a reply for the same picture posted today under a different name and the real person in the picture was found. It doesn't make it any easier but I am lost. Should I report this to the Nigerian authorities and how to do it? I did report to cyber crimes unit. I do have copies of emails, messages, and receipt. I'm not sure where I should go from here. Would someone please help me as to what to do? Thank you!!!

[duckhunter]

Hello and welcome mejo138. I am guessing that you just recently found out you were being scammed. I'm so sorry. Reporting to IC3 was a good start. Next you might want to report it to EFCC. Sadly, although it helps these organizations keep track of the seriousness of the crime, there is nothing they can (or will) do with individual cases.

In order to help come to terms with what has happened, some people like to tell their story here. Not only might the idiocyncracies of your particular scammer help other potential or current victims, but the members here are very supportive as many of us have been scammed also.

Reading around the site is also useful. It will help you to feel less alone in the situation while teaching you the signs to watch for to protect yourself in the future. You may even want to post a comment here and there.