My mom had been divorced for about five years and, like many, she found comfort in watching TV shows. She became obsessed with Korean dramas, which led her to dive into K-pop and start following idols on TikTok. K-culture is incredible, and I’m not here to say anything bad about it—but my mom’s growing fascination made her vulnerable to the wrong kind of attention.
One day, a TikTok user named kingbrandy12 followed her. He had over 10K followers and claimed to be a South Korean living in Seoul. He started by just wanting to “find friends,” and quickly became very interested in my mom. They began chatting casually on TikTok, but within a few days, he asked her to move the conversation to an app called Zangi, which is a private, serverless chat app. The authorities later told us that scammers often use apps like this to avoid being tracked.
At first, my mom was hesitant, but he pressured her, and she eventually agreed. That’s when things started going downhill. Over the course of about a month and a half, their conversations grew longer and more intimate. She got so wrapped up in talking to him that she could tell exactly what time it was in South Korea just by looking outside in Nebraska. She even started going back to the gym and taking better care of herself, which, on the surface, seemed great.
But then, things took a turn. He began to ask for personal photos—first of her working out, and then more explicit ones. I can’t say for sure if she ever sent those, because she’s too embarrassed to admit it. What I do know is that every time they had an argument, he would block her for a day or two, and this would send her into a spiral of anxiety and desperation. It was like a withdrawal, something that therapists later explained was a deliberate form of emotional manipulation.
Two months into the “relationship,” he asked her for $500, claiming his son was sick and needed medicine. My mom didn’t have the money, but she was so emotionally invested that she pawned her jewelry to help him. It didn’t stop there. As their relationship escalated, he promised to come visit her in Nebraska, even suggesting a dream-like vacation. She was over the moon. But one week before his supposed flight, he told her he couldn’t come because his son had fallen ill again, and he had spent all his money on medical bills.
Here’s where it gets worse: My mom offered to pay for his flight. She pawned more jewelry, sold her car, and even used rent money to send him $8,000. And then—he vanished. No messages, no calls, nothing. It broke her.
The emotional toll of this scam has been unbearable. She fell into a deep depression, and it has taken us months to help her start healing. We’ve been working with therapists and reported the scam to the local authorities, who escalated it to the FBI’s cybercrime division. They told us that romance scams like this have been happening for years, and the scammers are often based in places like the Philippines, pretending to be from South Korea because of the popularity of K-culture.
Red Flags to Watch Out For:
- Unsolicited Contact on Social Media: If someone with a large following suddenly takes an interest in you, be cautious.
- Pressure to Move the Conversation: Asking to switch to a private chat app like Zangi is a red flag. Scammers often use apps that are difficult to trace.
- Love Bombing: If someone you’ve just met online showers you with attention and affection, it could be a manipulation tactic.
- Requests for Money: Scammers will often create emergencies that require you to send them money. In our case, it was medicine for a sick child.
- Emotional Withdrawal: Blocking or ghosting you after a fight is often a way to keep you emotionally dependent and desperate for contact.
Please, be safe out there. Watch for the signs, and always take a step back before you get too emotionally involved with someone you’ve never met in person.