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Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Emotional Support, Compassionate Friends
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Pinky
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Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:49 am
Location: USA

Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by Pinky »

Welcome Mejo. Like the Duck says, you don't have any recourse with EFCC, but here you'll find answers to any question and tons of moral and emotional support. And the best revenge you can get right now is to dump him cold, flat and hard. Don't type another letter, don't answer any calls or emails. Leave him clueless as to what he did wrong. Next best revenge is to report him on Romancescam.com. His email addresses, usernames, profiles and phone numbers. You'll be helping others that he's probably scamming now. Don't ever think you're his only victim.

Next BEWARE of anyone contacting you with false hopes of recovering your money or arresting the scammer. It will not happen and those people are just out to bilk you for more money. They're called Recovery Scams.

Stick with us for awhile and be safe.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.
notmyfriend
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Re: help me help my friend

Post by notmyfriend »

I am not a victim but i think my friend is. she has chatting with a nigerian male, for about a month. within 24 hours he proclaimed love for her, said he wanted to marry her and for her to have his children. within 48 hours he had her cell phone number& home address. she has no ideaq how he found her. he says it was fate. he has been very up front with her in regards to giving her his cell number and home address.

he uses a web cam. she has accepted money from him to buy him somethings and send them back to him at her exspense. he has told her he got scammed out of getting his visa. her mom died a year ago, she's been so depressed. he has told her his mom died. his brother also talks to her on the phone and on yahoo. oh he found her on facebook. he has asked her to write a letter of recommondation of sorts to apply for a visa. he emailed her a copy of his passport that he suposedly saved up for and just recieved. he calls her same time every morning. and a couple tiems throughout the day. she spends hours on line chatting with him. she has sent him chriswtmas presents recently. becasue she thinks there is a possibility he might be who he says he is. a good guy. she has caught him in a couple lies and got him to admit the love poems he sends are from loving you.com, but he changes the words around a little to make them his. his brother calls her mom. because she reminds him so much oof their mother. she thinks that he is his brother. i don't kn ow what to do anymore. i've brought all the scam sights and stories to her attention. i have even found how to identify a scammer. he had 12 out of 63 signs of being a scammer. she says it"s only 12. if he was a good guy he would have 0 out of 63. what do i do? will it pass? does she have to go until she gets hurt?
wayne

Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by wayne »

she has accepted money from him to buy him somethings and send them back to him at her exspense.
This really worries me. Scammers don't send victims money, but get other victims to send it to them as part of another scam. That way, when the other person realises they've been scammed, the only name they have to give the police is......guess whose. Your friend should be very careful as she may be putting herself into the "accomplice" role with the scammer, although unwittingly.
within 24 hours he proclaimed love for her, said he wanted to marry her and for her to have his children.
That's a classic sign she's dealing with a scammer, just 1 step below asking for money. She really needs to take a step back and look at this situation with objective eyes.
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Pinky
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Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by Pinky »

She's been informed. She's into this with eyes wide open. I know what she has on her hands is a scammer turned visa beggar, willing to sell his soul to get out of Africa. Your friend is his best hope.

What she'll inevitably get, if he gets to her, is a lazy ass young man who lies to serve himself. This is his character and that doesn't change. She's in for a very sad and frustrating experience if she persists in this, but some people have to learn life's lessons the hardest way and nothing you can do or say will change this.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.
notmyfriend
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Re: help me help my friend

Post by notmyfriend »

he has sent her his bank account information and told her he is saving money and will show it to her before he deposits it. i truly believe in my heart that he is not in love with her. i know she is telling me half truths, and half stories. i believe that she is actually going to try to get him here. do i just back off and let things happen? i know there is no right advice, no one can tell me the right thing to do. i am so scared for her.
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Pinky
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Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by Pinky »

There is no right thing to do. Only be her friend when her fantasy world falls apart.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.
notmyfriend
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Re: feel better

Post by notmyfriend »

Believe it, or not, what you have told m has actualy made me feel better. I know I can't stop what's ging to happen. I have spent so much time fighting with her, that it is pushing her away. As hard as it will be, I will stand by her, quietly, and wait for it to come crashing to a halt. I had it in my head that I was being a good friend trying to pound in to her head that this is wrong. I realize I have to step back and wait, Oh and by the way I think his scam has started to come in to full affect. He has told her two days ago he lost his job becasuehe had to miss 4 days of work due to he had malaria. So maybe it's getting close to the end. thankyou for your advice.
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red zora
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Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by red zora »

he lost his job becasuehe had to miss 4 days of work due to he had malaria
....maybe it will be a good reason for him to ask her for money (hospital bill...for living...etc.)
IMPORTANT INFORMATION!!!
http://www.romancescam.com/forum/viewto ... =72&t=5149" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
LEAVE YOUR SCAMMER WITHOUT WORDS,TELL HIM NOTHING!!!
How to use this board? Have a look here
http://www.romancescam.com/forum/viewto ... ?f=18&t=63" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
notmyfriend
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Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by notmyfriend »

I can hope it comes to a head soon. I've read stories where the scammer strings the victim along for years. she says his words make her feel so good. she sends him long love messages on facebook
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Pinky
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Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by Pinky »

In the four + years I've been doing this, I have run across a few women that do realize it's only a fantasy they're involved in but refuse to give up the hope. A few of the women have been financially well off and have paid over and over simply because they can afford it and even the scammers believe they're getting what they pay for. I guess that's the scammers definition of the perfect maga; one who can afford to support her boy in exchange for lavish praise and attention. These women probably even understand and accept this.

I know these women have had children and grandchildren who've struggled with Granny's apparent insanity and worry about her finances, but really it's her money and she should be able to do with it what makes her happy.

There have been a few men too, who have said, "It's only money, I can afford it." They have that right and there's nothing we can do about it.

That said, there are many, many more who are emotionally needy and desperate and nothing we or their friends and family can do or say that can convince them to give up the dream. This borders on, if not literally tramples into the realm of mental illness. These people are often financially needy and unstable too. These are the ones that friends and family should steadfastly refuse to support with anything other than food if they're literally starving. The only way to get them to stop sending money is to deprive them of it. No one else should have to support their crazies, not even public welfare! This doesn't mean that we should withhold our sympathy and compassion though. The very reason they get into the trouble in the first place is because they're starved for attention.

Last and thankfully there are very few who are sneaky, underhanded and covert about their scammer addiction. These people will beg, borrow and steal to keep supporting their scammers. The coldhearted scammers don't care where the money comes from, much less what consequences their victims will face. They'll even encourage them to steal and embezzle with empty promises of compensation before the victim is found out or caught. If you know of ANYONE, whether it's a member of your family or not, there needs to be an intervention.

I worked with a daughter once who'd given up on her mother. She had looked in her mother's email account and seen that her mother had not only gone into deep debt to send money to her scammer, but when her credit maxed out she took to sending out fake checks for the scammer to his other victims. The mother knew full well what she was doing. I got all her information from the daughter and contacted the county sheriffs department where the woman lived and turned her in. Within a week the madness ended.

NMF, you might recognize your friend in one of those three categories. Hopefully this will give you some ideas about what you can do. It's not much. Sorry.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.
notmyfriend
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Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by notmyfriend »

It is moving faster. she is telling this guy she's saving money to come down there. Spending money on calling cards to hear his voice. She's sending him emails calling him her husband. Telling him how much he loves her and now his brother has proclaimed his love for me. It only took me 10 seconds for him to want to marry me. His brother asked to chat with me so i said yes. just to see. Any doubt I had in my mind of it maybe being love, has gone out the window. This is not love
scallywag
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Joined: Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:33 pm

Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by scallywag »

Hello notmyfriend,
I think you already knew your answer - of course its not true love. All 100% fake to get you to trust him and his 'brother' in this scam. Yes, throw those thoughts out of the window, afterall how many real men actually profess 'they have instantly fallen in love with you' within a few minutes of 'knowing you' on the internet? Stay strong and follow your 'gut feelings'...
Godbless..Scallywag :)
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Pinky
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Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:49 am
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Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by Pinky »

Hey NMF, what you're doing is called baiting. Which is fine and might even be a good way to support and convince your friend but please be careful not to use your own real life information and don't give him any education or truths that he might use later to scam others. Be safe, ok?
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.
notmyfriend
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Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by notmyfriend »

new update. He has now asked her to marry him on the phone. the wedding is planned for august. First he told her "that if she loved him she would come to Nigeria in August." She told him that she was not comming down there by herself. So she started researching how to get him here. All about visa's and citizenship paperwork the whole 9yards. This is just in the last 3 days. What the hell. She is actually considering marrying this guy. I can't believe it. This has become a very dangerous game.
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FrumpyBB
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Re: Welcome to the Victim Support section.

Post by FrumpyBB »

He won´t come. It was never planned by him to come in the first place. Right before the long-planned flight (and wedding) he will become "ill", or be "attacked", or any other excuse. Plus a money request.

I find it much more dangerous that she still communicates with a known scammer. Unless you stop her or at least suggest her to do some google research (and NOT tell him about it), she will soon be financially and emotionally ruined. The longer this abominable game continues, the more. Cut her connection off!!
Please try your best to block ALL your scammer´s still incoming messages and calls!

What is all this? => The FAQ

The scammers vs. Why is "he" still doing it?

Why is alerting the man in the pictures DANGEROUS?

Please click why confronting my scammer is terribly wrong :)
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