Welcome to the Victim Support section.

[tully]

Hi Pinky & WG, thanks so much for your kind words & support..again. I haven't responded earlier as I wasn't in a good place as you could tell from my last post. I really was going through a terrible time and just wanted the pain to go away.

I know that was only a week ago but I do feel a lot better and the "funny" thing is it's because I have seen his photo posted under a different name..patrick200918@yahoo, it seems to have made it more real for me and easier to see the true picture. I am curious though as these posts were up before mine (by Marisa & On a Mission) I searched & searched for his photo & couldn't find it anywhere & it still isn't listed under scamdiggers or the photo's here under black males...please list them so others aren't caught by this one.

Tell us what more we can do

You know all I really wanted & needed at that time was a someone to just wrap their arms around me & hold me tight & just let me cry my heart out. I felt desperate as I hadn't told anyone about this except for the people on this site & I realised I needed to confide in someone. So I told a close friend & she did exatly that, with compassion & no judgement & the realisation that what happened really wasn't about me, it was about the greed of another person.

So again thankyou, thankyou for this wonderful site as a means of being able to vent to others who actually know how I feel but also helping me to see that we need people in our physical life who know us & love us to help us through this emotional rollercoaster.


cheers Tully

[The Wild Geese]

Hello tully
Thanks for hearing from you tully. As you can understand we were worried about you. Now I am relieved to hear that you are doing better. Do you know what your sign inn name mean in Nordic language? Tully's nearest meaning = fun, joke, crazy.

[Pinky]

Thank you Tully! I'm so happy to read how your friend came through for you. What a priceless blessing!

[tully]

Hi WG & Pinky,

Sorry to have been a source of concern and I do appreciate that your thoughts were with me..thanks.. . WG, I didn"t know the meaning of Tully as the name just came to me out of the blue but my Grandfather was Swedish so maybe he whispered it in my ear to lighten my heart a little.. ..and I have been known to be a little crazy & funloving ..hehe. Pinky thanks so much, yes,yes,yes what a true blessing my friend gave me and the absolute truth of friendship ..

Tully...

[zetaarnold]

Tully:
It is really nice to hear about you. This process takes time and we need friends to go ahead. I have a wonderful experience with all my friends, besides, of course, with the gorgeous people in this site . They all gave me comfort and advice whenever I needed and I feel so grateful for that. You always welcome and you always be in our prayers.
Take care, pampering yourself and smile.

[tully]

Hi ZA,

thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement. With the help of the wonderful people here and my dear friend and also my resilience I'm getting better and getting through. I realise it really has nothing to do with me or the person I am as these parasites have no idea about love and heart only hate and greed, they really are sick..
I have been reading some of your posts and I have to say I LOVE YOUR WORK...
Keep him begging..thanks for the laughs..

Cheers Tully

[layla]

I feel sad and depresssed right now as I write this message. I'm supposed to work today. I don't think I can focus on my work so i took half day off today.

I knew this guy, James Lee via msn match.com on 9 Jan 2010. we chatted for 3 weeks. He found me and started to write to me. Through chatting i had developed fondness for him and as a result of my impulsion or so called "blinded by love", i lost RM75k. I believe this guys is the same person as mentioned by clh1966 in one of her post on 29 Dec 2009, the owner of the AMbank credit card account. Not to mention that i also spoke to Ms Diana at the same cellphone number in clh1966's post.

It was a shock to my life to have all these hard facts laid infront of me. I cried and cried and still couldn't believe that this is real.

I really thank junior poster clh1966 to so bravely step up and share with us her encounter. (in her post: crissdavid40@hotmail.com, Direct Fast Courier). If not for your post, I am not sure how deep is this guy going to cheat my feelings... Thanks again.

I couldn't share my misfortune with anyone of my family or friends as it will be such a big disappointment to them. Hence I choose to let it out here.

[layla]

I really feel so ashamed of myself and am such a fool to believe that there is actually true love in this world. I can't trust love and my feelings anymore...

[Pinky]

Give yourself some time to heal, Layla. You'll find that sadness will go and you will come out a much stronger and wiser woman. Read as much as you can here in the support section. There are many who've shared their stories and the things they did to overcome the hurt. I promise you it will pass.

If you are close with your family, you know they're going to love you all the more for relying on them in your time of need. Consider letting someone you know loves you, offer some comfort.

When you feel strong enough to report the scam, please post the details in the White Males forum. As you were given proof, you can also help another - and in turn I know you will be blessed immensely.

[clh1966]

Layla, Please stay strong! I hv just replied to your pm to me. How i wish i had gone over to Malaysia to make the police report ealier when Crissdavid, Diana n their gang (James Lee) tried to scam me last year. I was too occupied by my works and my own case.

sorry.. i got to work now. i will talk to you again after work this evening.

take care always
clh

[Mals]

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time, Layla, through the deception and criminality of one of these heartless scammers. It's what has brought us all here to this forum, so you are most definitely not alone. I have learnt heaps from reading as many posts here as I can, and gained much strength through it, knowing all I - like yourself - was "guilty" of was being too trusting, caring for another human being and giving them the benefit of the doubt. There is a lot of emotional support (and practical advice) here within this group of people, so don't be afraid to reach out for it. Everyone takes their own time to heal. For me, it's been a month since I discovered the person I cared for and was totally deceived by was in fact a Nigerian scammer and I'm feeling heaps better now. We'd been in contact for 7 months, and it was a hell of a shock. It IS a shock to the system and throws your mind into confusion. But gradually you DO start to pick the pieces up again and rebuild your heart and mind.
We all understand what you're going through so, feel free to vent about it and get it out of your system, either here or privately. It can help with the processing of what is a very complex and difficult thing to process, I know.

[layla]

Dear Pinky, clh1966 and Mal,

Many thanks for your encouragements and comfort. Appreciated.

I met him in msn's match.com. Thought that it should be safe avenue to get to know more people since it charges a fee to all the memberships plus emails. We started our conversation with introducing each other, we talked about things we like and dislike. 2 or 3 days later, his mom and uncle called me to tell me how happy they were as he had found me. He even spoke to my mom on last sunday nite and promised that he and his mom will pay us a visit in mid of Feb. He led me and my family to believe in his sincerity. I love him even more.

He had painted such a nice picture about us ie how the wedding will be, how we are going to decorate our house, how we are going to spend our time together watching movies, strolling and many many more...Loves has accumulated each and everyday...and all of sudden, the whole thing is gone...

As silly as it may sound, I really don't mind giving him the money as long as he truly loves me... I am not sure how i will/can get through this so that to end this heart-wrenching episode fast. The way he talks, laughters and sense of humours are all embedded my mind, eventhough i haven't met him before. His voice still resounds in my head when I am alone, by myself.

I can't tell this to anyone in my family especially my mom. She will be devastated. She has always wanted me to find the right man who can bring me happiness. After talking to him, she was so happy. So I have to lie to her to bring down the impact to the minimum, by telling her that he is not coming anymore cos thing is not going out between me and him.

As for me, I think this website is the best place for me to pour out all my sadness, sadness and sadness... I have already lost faith in myself and lost the ability to think possitively.
How long do i need to recover? How long??

[tully]

Dear Layla,
Your story is so familiar, your sadness is so familiar, the pain, the humiliation and devastation are all too familiar... We, all of us here know all the emotions you are feeling right now and it will take some time to heal from this but please just let me say one thing that I really want you to know deep in your heart...This is not your fault, it has nothing to do with the person you are or are not, it is not about you not being good enough or what's wrong with me why doesn't he love me, it has nothing to do with any of that. It is all and only about the greed and manipulation of these people who do this TO us. When you say it sounds silly that it doesn't matter about the money as long as he truely loves you, that is not silly at all because I felt the same way as I'm sure most of us did because we are genuine,caring and loving people. We want the words that people say to us to be true, the same as the truth that we speak.

These people are professional criminals, they are very good at what they do and I'm sure they don't even consider the pain and torment that they cause. They consider it their job and just move onto the next without a second thought to us while we wonder about the why and the how but the is no answer to any of it.
Please know that you are not alone and you need to go through this grieving as you have lost what you thought to be a genuine and loving relationship but please don't blame yourself. Love yourself and be kind to yourself and you will eventually come through this a stronger person...

Take care Layla

Tully

[tully]

P.S...There is no time limit on your grief, just take one day at a time...moment by moment...

[layla]

Thanks Tully ...

I couldn't sleep well, so I log on this website. I called him just now... he didn't answer.
I know i need to detach all my feelings from him immediately... you are right, it's not easy...
I know there is no one else who can help me out from this mess and I need to go through the healing process by myself. Tully... I will try my very best to at least, ignore the pain in the morning when i'm at work and try not to think about it at night.

In the past, whenever I am not in good mood, I will go for shopping and buy a few things to make myself happy. Now I couldn't do this anymore... I have nothing left, except for my job which i do it as my livelihood.

I'm happy for you that you have recovered...
I m not sure if i could. The world is no longer colourful anymore as it is used to be... Everything turns dark ... I have been praying so hard to God and obviously my prayers were ignored by him...